Loss, Love, Life

You don't think about who you're mad at or the words that were spoken between you during the argument. A human is focused on the anger they feel and how they hurt. Anger is an emotion that overrides any sensibility that you as a person has, even the logic you know you're centered with normally. Words can hurt more than you realize. In the heat of the moment we throw it out there about hating them, never wanting to see them again. I'm sure at some point the blow up between you and a loved one went as far as one of you speaking those dreaded words, "you're dead to me". Anger can do alot of things for an emotion, none of which are good. There's no real way of biting our tongues before the words have already slipped out of our mouths or typed out by our hands. Once it's said and done, all we have left is regret once we've calmed down and seen that it shouldn't have ever gone so far.

I'm as guilty as anyone else of saying those words, and recently (two days ago) had to attend the funeral of my brother in law Wesley Kemph. He was one of a kind, free spirited, but stubborn as a mule when he thought he was right about a decision he made. He was the type to make you laugh no matter how he had to accomplish it. He was 18 years old and will never know what kind of life he could have because now it'll be lived in Heaven or wherever his spirit went.

I should have messaged him and said I was sorry long before now. I should have begged and pleaded with him to forgive me and to forgive his brother for acting so harshly over something so little. Death comes and takes us before we're ready. But only God Knows Why.

But you receive that phone call and BAM just like that every reason you were angry for is gone. You think it's a sick morbid joke another friend is playing on you just to get the two of you back talking again. Until you leave to go to see for yourself that it really is permanent. That person is no longer there to call and say "I'm sorry". The person can't say back that you're forgiven, or that it's no big deal anymore. All you can do is look upward and pray that they hear your cries.

Never go  to bed angry. Never allow your anger to come inbetween you and someone you love. Always make sure they know that you love them. Saying I love you to many times is way better than never saying it. Always back your words with actions. Just saying the words is never enough, you have to show it too. But overall, remember there could always not be a tomorrow to amend damage done today.

R.I.P Wesley Scott Kemph, we love you and miss you already. Too soon were you gone from this world.